The Dominion Post, Morgantown, W.Va., Lindsey Fleming column
Nov 22, 2012 (The Dominion Post - McClatchy-Tribune Information Services via COMTEX) --
I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN to list the abundance of things I'm presently thankful for. I've tried to edit it down and form it into some cohesive, eloquently written, 500-word gem of a column, believe me. After all, today is Thanksgiving, so to write about anything else seems a little silly. But I just can't cram in everything.
So, instead, I decided to make up a list of future entertainment-related events I will be grateful for, if and when they happen. Some will actually occur, others are obvious pipe dreams. But a girl can hope.
The day Lindsay Lohan disappears from the spotlight all together. I just caught her doing some bit on "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" the other day, and it made me sad. She's barely recognizable, and the last thing she made headlines for was canceling a Barbara Walters interview. I think it's best at this point that she just bow out, with whatever modicum of grace she may or may not have left, so that we can all remember the good times, a.k.a. "Mean Girls," and forget the more recent, less-stellar moments, i.e. her growing arrest record.
On the flip side of the coin, I'm counting the days until Louis C.K. comes back to me, and everyone else who is a fan of the comedian and his FX show "Louie." He announced in October that he needs to take a break until 2014. C.K. told the New York Times of the program, "I don't want it to be making the doughnuts. I want it to keep being something that comes from somewhere fun and important, and I want it to stay funny." If that means I'll be robbed of his absurd hilarity for an extra season, so be it. I have faith the wait will be worth it.
The eventual release of Google's Project Glass. It's not because I want to wear these $1,500 pair of frames that allow the user to take and share photos, video chat, check appointments, and access maps and the Internet. It's because I want to watch people try to look up and to the right -- which is what you have to do to enable all its functions -- and continue to attempt everyday activities. It's funny enough when the college kids in my neighborhood walk into telephone poles while messing with their smartphones; this should take pratfalls to a whole new level. Confession: I don't know that this is entertainment-related, per se, but I'm including it because, regardless, it promises to be entertaining.
This is going to sound hypocritical coming from a Prince fan, but I can't wait until musical artists -- I'm looking at you Ke$ha and Fun. -- stop using unnecessary punctuations in their names. It's pointless and nobody cares what your reasoning behind it is. And for the record, I was never on board with Prince's symbol-as-a-name phase. But at least he has the musical mastery to let me look past the foolishness. I somehow doubt a girl who rap-sings about getting wasted will reach heights that allow me to forgive her too.
Finally, a move I think we can all get behind, the passage of a decree citing Emma Stone as a national treasure. Because, let's face it, she just is.
Happy Thanksgiving, guys!
LINDSEY FLEMING is a lifestyles writer/copy editor. Email email@example.com.
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